It is official! I am in France!?!? It is day 3 of this new exploration of self and patience and culture and understanding. While it is a new undertaking, I find myself reflecting on the journey before the journey, the weeks and days leading to this event....
If you would have asked me 3 months ago what I thought it would be like it would not have registered or even felt real, but as the time neared I cycled between feeling the weight of the dream with the neutrality of the goal. Despite the miles and distance I am me and I am navigating this new terrain in perfect 'Sophie' fashion with conservative reservation and analytical evaluation, but with an open heart, mind and spirit that lacks the anxiety and stress that once plagued the very thought of this plan (more on this later ...).
While it has only been 3 days, it feels like 3 weeks and I am physically and mentally exhausted and adjusting to a new period of dependence and reliance to a new culture, language and lifestyle. Despite this, the concept of time does not seem as significant as it once did over 2 years ago when I began to imagine embarking on this path. Gone (hopefully) are the days of worried wonder and hurried process!
Fast forward to 6 months ago, during a time of abandoned expectation. Who would have thought that the release of expectation and ownership could have opened the door to not mine but God’s plan…. That the absence of definition and strict organization and an acceptance of uncertainty and faith in time and process could have lead to a sense of calmed reverence. It is amazing how by letting go you gain more than can be imagined or hoped for!
And now … I am beginning a new adventure … a new journey … another chapter … an experience I hope will be filled with limitless opportunity, wonder, wisdom, hope, faith and fearlessness!!!
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