The feeling of regressing to a stage and age of youth and adolescence could not be expressed any stronger than in my past year of employment and lack thereof.
To look back on when I left Canada in October 2010, and to think that I left 2 jobs without a guarantee of anything to replace it is somewhat strange yet funny. You see, I have always had at least one job, with as many as 3 at one time, and most often if I was preparing to leave one I already had another one in place.
So here I am in France, jobless, dipping into my once untouched savings and refusing my first job offer??? Not long after settling in I was offered a job teaching English which I turned down after a week of training as it was honestly and simply not for me and reminded me too much of the all too familiar feeling of unmet obligation and unreached expectation. So instead I searched for free French courses, an almost impossible feat if you are a citizen as you should already speak French, non(!), and then after the first holiday season settled into a renewable 4 month contract working in a kitchen. No bread or pastry baking for me, but instead a hairnet I donned while I prepped for lunch and later manned the washing of dishes. A humbling experience and one I wish not to repeat, but an appreciated one nonetheless.
I then decided to refuse a continuation of the kitchen contract as the summer was approaching and I was anticipating guests and travels, with ear surgery scheduled conveniently in between. But perhaps, in keeping with my adolescent attitude, I also had reached the point where this particular job was nothing more than a way to fill the day and pay the rent. So without regret and lots of financial anxiety I was off for the summer without an idea or plan of what to do next!
In between the what-ifs and worry of finding my next job, I was also filled with a sense of ‘everything is going to be alright’. Cheesy as it is, it was….and by the end of August, and within 2 weeks, I had applied, interviewed and was offered a job at my new place of employment, where I carry out my day in English and decide my own schedule! With revolving contracts and fluctuating hours I am again gainfully employed and regaining a new semblance of self sufficiency.
Tossed in between the gaps of employment, jet sets, and weekends away I dabbled in a one month paid French course, and volunteered with a couple of English speaking groups, expanding my experience abroad while clinging to the comforts of my mother tongue. Throughout the last year I have been actively involved as a volunteer, honing my under-developed, center of attention - extroversion skills as a dinner host (aka animator) for the Act4 English club. And on a more familiar front, I am also involved in the start-up and planning of a non-profit volunteer led English speaking Cancer Support group in Lyon, with the support and encouragement of the National Group in France.
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| Act4 dinner |
The eleventh month inevitably resulted in the once dreaded English teaching and saw me running a trial style 5 week English conversation course; which much to my surprise was actually fun and engaging and not as much work or worry as anticipated!
On a within the box and comfort zone front, hopefully my budding interest and passion in writing will lead to a future of thoughtful expression, daily notions and published pursuits. For now it is a dream and I struggle to maintain a sense of consistency and established ideas; although my online pursuits over the last year have been inspired, motivated and welcomed; namely this very blog, a social blog on AngloInfo, regular Act4 newsletter columns, and an informational online insurance article written for an international online publication.
While my CV has not rounded out in a concentric career focused outline or reflected a higher rung of the professional ladder, it continues to diversify and reflect the changing landscape of my experiences, outlooks and perceptions!
Isn’t growing up a process of newness, innocence and impulsive instincts!?
