A speedy September

As always the concept of time eludes me… While it has only been 3 weeks since the start of the New Year in France, it feels as if time is passing me by. With the summer in the not far off distance, the fall in France is an unwritten time of new beginnings, a new year of sorts, akin to a fiscal year of renewed motivation and opportunities. Aside from the south of France which peaks in the summer, the rest of France shuts down only to re-emerge well rested and revving to go come September. And it is off to a fairly decent start… Within the first week, I was gainfully employed, entangled in never-ending rouge tape, pondering other new starts; all the while frantically searching for a legal parking space. And alas, the city of Lyon has returned to its regular routine with enhanced fervour and appeal, as the Lyonnais are rearing to go from a summer of anything but work or worry.

And 3 weeks in, my over analytical brain threatens to run on overdrive of confusion, loneliness, welcomed responsibility, new experiences and catapulting forwardness…  So as I write this post, I am reminded of the fact that 3 weeks is much shorter than the 10+ months I have been here, and the amount of actual, real, possible, probable and imagined opportunities that have materialized are more than I care to handle, but a great reminder of the importance of patience and trust in time and space and the natural order of things.

So… in the last 3 weeks I have ….

Started a new job.

Began exploring and developing private English lessons.

Learned for the second or third time that I don’t qualify for French unemployment –

well maybe or maybe not? The rouge ruban is long, thick and knotted! (More to come…..)

Looked into other possible fun employment ideas…

such as English teaching theatrical style…

Country driving complete with another parking ticket!

This time parked in a legal space but without proof of payment (oops!)

Counting centimes and checking and re-checking bank statements to fund an

upcoming October sejour to Scotland!

Etc, etc, etc…..

Always trying to err on the side of positivity, I must also share that the last 3 weeks have also dragged on slowly; fuelled by the expected and actual loneliness that is inevitable in a foreign land where despite time, each day, opportunity and experience is a challenge… and one that is amplified coming off of a summer of heartfelt friendships and connections.  And so, I also need to remind myself that this too is normal and natural and okay!

Aix-les-Bains

In between my birthday, job interview and training date, I decided, after much contemplation and hesitation to go away for a solo celebratory birthday weekend! After countless internet searches, debating between places to visit, where to stay, how to get there, and if it was in my best financial interest (um, that was a no brainer – NO), I decided that my desire to treat myself outweighed the impractical and practical reasons for either going or not. And so, after debating between Dijon and somewhere near the mountains, Aix-les-Bains came out on top for its mountainous charm! Dijon, however, continues to remain a dream destination, even if it is only because I have grown to love, appreciate and crave the distinct pungent flavour of Dijon mustard!

After a few phone calls and emails to clarify hotel details, en français (of course), I was booked for a two night stay in Aix-les-Bains, armed with a pre-programmed GPS, and a playlist of relaxing melodies.

 Sample road trip song ~ Bon Iver (Calgary)

Saturday morning, August 27, was relaxed and low-key and I took my time packing and preparing for my approaching getaway!! A short one hour drive along the Auto-route and I arrived amidst the mountainous backdrop of the quaint little town of Aix-les-Bains. Situated near the Swiss border, on the Lac du Bourget, with views of the Jura Mountains, and the foothills of the Alps, I was transported to a state of instant serenity.

Why am I living in a city?

I should be living near the mountains and forests,

surrounded by trees, trails and hills!

Too early to check into the hotel, I parked the car and wandered around the town, stopping in a few shops to check out faded and dated postcards and admire the quietness of small town living. It was during this time that I remembered that Aix-les-Bains is popular for its thermal baths and alternative medical therapies, drawing primarily seniors to its renowned treatment spas. So, as it happened, I rang in my 34^th year, in a town of white-hairs and walkers ;) How’s that for feeling initially apprehensive about turning a year older!

 

After checking in, I took a 30 second stroll to the tourist office next door and armed with a town map set out to explore the few attractions, most of which could be seen from across the street. I wandered around the landmarks near the hotel, including the Mairie (Town Hall), town church, local park and town square. I roamed aimlessly without the aid of the map and through the Bois Vidal, a hilly nature trail with magnificent views of the surrounding mountains.

Mairie (Town Hall)

Parc de Verdure

View from Bois Vidal

Old well in Bois Vidal

 

 

Back in the town centre I stopped to smile and briefly watch the townsfolk dance to the amplified accordion sounds during the early evening festivities in the town square. Much of the town shut down early, except for a few restaurants within the main square, and so it was an early night with the view of the lighted Mairie from my window, and a decadent chocolate cake-like dessert for a birthday treat.

Town Square Party & Dancing

Birthday Cake :)

View of the Mairie from my window

The following day I walked to the local church (Notre Dame), where I attended a French mass, followed by lunch on an outside terrace, enjoying the best burger (with dijon) thus far in France with a panaché (a limonade flavoured beer). With a full and happy belly I walked back toward the church and to the Faure Museum next door. There, I spent a couple of hours admiring impressionist art by Rodin and other French painters and sculptors. The afternoon skies were sunny and clear and the air was warm; perfect for walking and sitting along the Lake (with the rest of the tourists).  A simple salad with goat cheese for dinner and my final night in Aix-les-Bains was nearing an end.

Fantastic lunch!

 

Faure Museum

View between the trees of the Lac du Bourget Promenade

Lac du Bourget

The next day, after breakfast I decided to head out early and to take the back roads home, avoiding the Auto-route. The GPS predicted a 2 hour drive, but was quickly recalculated when I decided to take a scenic drive through the mountains and down to the Abbey D’Hautecombe (in Saint Pierre de Curtille). I spent a few hours winding up and throughout the hills and mountains, stopping along route to admire the view and snap a few pics; and then toured the peaceful grounds of the Abbey before returning home in the early afternoon, where as is usual, things returned to normal…

A view along one of the many stops along the mountainous drive

(The camera is pretty well worn from resting on rocks & tree trunks...)

Abbey d'Hautecombe

Abbey d'Hautecombe

 

Bulot en Anglais

After nearly a year of lazy motivation, a short stint job, and moments of longing for the routine and familiarity of a life before, I have once again joined the ranks of the working folk! For someone that has almost always worked 2+ jobs simultaneously; choosing to spend a year (refusing an unsuitable job, working in a humbling short-term contract job, and spending the summer travelling and spending once saved earnings); was once unimaginable and entirely outside of my sensible practicalities and personality!

But, as my nagging inner self grew louder and my inherent need to feel productive, useful and helpful materialized I am now seizing the opportunity to regain some of that lost, but not forgotten, (and at times needed), sense of routine and daily purpose. Oh yeah, and that pesky little financial necessity component plays a part too ;)

After countless resume updates, and numerous online applications before and during the summer months, I finally received a call… The timing could not have been any better with the advertisement posted just days after returning to Lyon, and the interview scheduled a few days later. And even more auspicious was that the interview was scheduled for the morning of my birthday! And a whopping anticipation of an interview it was, as it was scheduled for 10:00 am and was predicted to last 1 ½ - 2 hours!!

Surprisingly I didn’t feel nervous for the interview itself, and it was because I felt confident as;

1) it was my birthday ;)
2) the posting was in English and for an English speaking position
3) the description of the job was within my field of experience and interest
And…
4) as I have learned so far in France, typically if you are called for an interview it is usually followed with an offer, and with a interview time of almost 2 hours there had to be more than just, describe yourself & your experience…

Actually, wait, I take that back…. I was slightly nervous, but only because I made it to the interview at 10:00 on the dot, as I opted not to walk the short 15 minutes to the interview, and instead decided to drive to make sure I was 100% clear on where the office was located… which only resulted in driving around for 15 minutes before finding parking halfway between my house and the company!

The interview was a success, obviously, and I was offered the job and asked to begin training the following Tuesday! It probably helped that it was conducted in English with a small bit in French, namely my spare time interests (loisirs). Yes, in France it is customary to include on your resume (CV), and to talk about in interviews your hobbies. Likewise, a French CV always includes a passport style picture in the upper right corner, your birthday, social status (married, single…) and other potentially discriminatory details. Although in this case I applied using my regular English version CV, sans the intimate personal details.

I left the interview feeling overjoyed and excited with a sense of ease, as the majority of my fretting and worry over the summer was, as usual, unwarranted. I should have listened to my inner intuition all along and trusted that everything would work out without a need for over thinking or projection.

One week has since passed and I have worked 3 ‘full’ workdays so far, following a day of mentally exhausting training…. I was not prepared for my workday to be conducted almost entirely in French!! The training itself was a short day of 3 ½ hours, and consisted of 3 parts; one and a half hours of general company training (en français), and one hour each of specialized project training on each of the projects I would be working on (encore, en français).

…Okay so what is the job exactly?... Well, I am working for Registrat-Mapi, which is a company that conducts late phase epidemiological studies on behalf of pharmaceutical companies. My role is to contact physicians in the UK during various phases of the studies to recruit for, and monitor their participation; and all the other organizational, information and administration that goes along with it.

As I prepare to enter my first official full week in this new role, I am both excited and nervous, as I have not grasped my actual role entirely. I continue to sort through a 75% understanding of my responsibilities, as most of the documents, instructions and explanations are in French! Although this will be a good challenge for me, even if it also challenges my sense of personal security, confidence and shyness all at the same time.

Birthday wishes

At the 10 month mark of living in France, I turned 34… The months leading up to this milestone were filled with some anxiety and anticipation. For some reason, and for the first time, the thought of turning one year older registered a tiny sense of fear! While my 33^rd year was full of challenges and change, it was also a pivotal one and one that I would not change, despite my complaints and criticisms ;) It was also the year that in a spiritual sense is shared with Jesus, and one that was reflected back to me on many occasions by family and friends, while also resting comfortably in my mind as a silent source of motivation and support.

When I thought about the number ‘34’ it seemed so much older and distant than in reality, as if adding 11 years to my current age. It just did not seem to fit in or make sense? This same inhibition was sensed when I thought about close friends who had met or were waiting to meet this same milestone… a sense of astonishment that 34 had or was approaching and where had the time gone?

As the months passed, my anxieties calmed and I began to feel a sense of impending loneliness instead… a desire to celebrate my birthday and cherish the day with the people I care about most… a yearning to actually honour the day without spending it or viewing it as any other day (which I have always done and preferred)… and a sense of sadness knowing that the day would pass following the end of an incredible summer when everything would have just returned to normal and I would be longing for the connectivity, support and familiarities of home.

And so, my 34^th birthday was spent in a mishmash of events, some ordinary and others essential in breaking the normal mold I was not looking forward to returning to. While the day itself was not overly eventful, nor exciting, and was not spent in celebration or without obligation, it was a good one. I am happy to report that I did not feel 10 years older or wiser ;) but rather; as with each year, it was accepted and appreciated as a day to initiate new hopes and dreams, and a time to dream up heartfelt desires and birthday wishes!

The days leading up to and including my birth-day itself were spent coming up with a list of 34 birthday wishes; as recommended and encouraged by my cousin Jason. A perfect blend of actual goals and wishes, soul level desires and ongoing lessons and teachings make up this list, encouraging and motivating a new age of life and living!

A day like no other - yet like any other, was spent with a morning job interview and subsequent job offer, followed by a birthday lunch out with my dad. An afternoon of perfect solitude chez moi, complete with an afternoon sieste rounded out the middle of the day. A sociable evening with the members of the Act4 English group I am involved in finished the day. Throw in celebratory phone calls, emails and text messages and the day commencing my 34^th year was complete…

Gratuitous Lucidity

I just had the most amazing dream! I am writing this at 4:30 am my time (Sept 3/11); and I just woke from the dream 5 minutes ago, looking at the clock at 4:25…

As in most dreams things switch and change, but earlier in the dream both Nano (my grandmother) and Tato (my grandfather) are there; alive and healthy and walking around. At some point my dream changes and I am in their house; the house I grew up in, on Texas Road ~ although the magnitude of this is not realized until the end of the dream.

As I am sitting in this familiar living room, which is different from the actual room, but feels exactly like it; I am typing and working on something that I find relaxing and I am very content and in a state of concentration. In walks one of the kids I used to work with wanting to watch a music video, and he has brought in a tape to play on the TV. I plead with him that I don’t think it is a good idea, as I believe it is a rap video and think it will disturb my concentration. He pleads back (as was usual with this particular kid, but also one of my favourites). Then I hear someone, a staff from where I used to work, call for him and he leaves.

The dream then changes so that I am still in the same room, but I notice that the walls are pastel in colour. This is different from the living room on Texas Road, but it still retains the same feel and significance and feels just like it. I notice that the walls are painted in two different colours, with a light pink wall behind me and a pastel green wall to my left. The set up of the room is also different, and its placement is identical to a bedroom in my Aunt’s house, where the door that leads out of the room, opens to a hallway with a bathroom off to the right.

Here I am working in the old living room of my grandparents’ house where I used to live, and I see my Nano walk by to go to the bathroom. She then comes into the living room and walks towards me. She is wearing a light coloured dress (white background), with small flowers in the same pastel pinks and greens, holding a large sturdy dark cream/tan coloured bra; as if she decided to take it off while she was in the bathroom. She is very healthy and happy and smiling with her eyes and her mouth. I know that she is not alive in my dream, but she is also not a spirit, and for the intent of the dream she is very real and present.  

She walks up to me smiling and we begin to speak in French. Instead of her native Italian we are communicating in French and she expresses how much she likes the living room and the changes that have been made. I take careful note of her face and her features, and I am drawn to the curve and angle of her chin. During the short conversation I am very aware that my French is not perfect and try to communicate as best I can, but she does not seem to notice or care; but rather she listens intently and responds as if I have spoken perfectly. She then hugs me, and I begin to cry. Our cheeks are touching and a tear brushes her cheek. My dream then becomes very lucid and begins to fade, but I am still crying and trying to hold onto the elements of the dream.... I am now fully awake with my eyes closed trying to record and remember as much as possible, in between tears of appreciation and gratitude… and so I am now typing it out so that I don't forget.

 

...this is the third dream so far in my lifetime

that has resonated so strongly in emotion, feeling and impact…

...back to normal...?

And so… everything returns to normal? Within the first few days of returning to Lyon from an amazing and unforgettable summer, I was struck by my Dad’s exclamation that while it lasted and it was fun, the summer is over, and it is now time for everything to return to normal?

What does that mean???

I am not sure I am ready for, or wanting things to return to normal…

Such a simple statement yet so profound at the same time. One that I am still trying to digest, but one that registered a quick sense of fear as there is not much that I do know, and I tend to question everything…, however, my hope is that normal will continue to bring with it, new opportunities, growth, changes & insights.

So there you have it!

I hope to forge a new normal in the coming months, whatever that means or brings, because the same old normal needs a revamping of motivation and steam!!!

 Wish me luck ;)

Final days...

The last days of a summer filled with travel, adventures and incredible friends were spent in Paris; amidst the lights of the Eiffel Tower, youthfulness of the Tuileries Gardens, artistry of the Louvre and hours spent relaxing beneath trees and among lush lawns.

Eiffel Tower at nite!

Tuileries Garden

Louvre

These final days, while including sightseeing and touristy activities, were also much more relaxed with long periods in between to lie out, drink wine and enjoy the night lights of the Eiffel Tower.

Before the crowds gathered for the night light show

To spread out and enjoy a picnic beneath a shade tree atop Montmartre beside Sacré Coeur.

Sacre Coeur

Picnic with wine!

To seek out the Moulin Rouge, take a few quick pictures of the disappointedly small windmill, and then spend the afternoon sampling beers in a French brasserie.

Moulin Rouge

Afternoon beer tasting

And a time to enjoy large hunks of fresh French bread smothered with butter and jam, with large North American style coffees, complimentary of our short stay at a Monastery, one street over from the Champs-Élysées and the Arc de Triomphe.

Elevator ride before a breakfast a la french style!

A perfect blend of vacationing mixed with daily life and living; and of new experiences and anticipated good-byes ~ or more correctly, see-you-laters.

Saying goodbye brought many mixed emotions, with obvious and expected sadness twinged with loneliness. Some of my strongest connections were bound to return home across an ocean, countless miles and time zones apart, away from the day to day conveniences and inconveniences of the summer experiences. A feeling of contented relief of having survived a summer of closeness and unconditional support, despite fears of how the passing time could have altered childhood bonds. And a sense of exhaustion and desire to return to normal, if only for a short while….

And so I bid adieu to mes amis at the Charles de Gaulle Airport, and began to process and reflect upon how very fortunate I am to have wonderful life -long friends, who despite the miles and cost, continue to remain present, active and committed to our long-distance relationships!

Thanks everyone, for making this a memorable summer.

A summer of trials and tribulations,

adventures and annoyances,

heart to hearts and moments of silence,

a time of heartfelt opinions and unconditionality

and one of acceptance and life inspiring awe….