Birthday wishes

At the 10 month mark of living in France, I turned 34… The months leading up to this milestone were filled with some anxiety and anticipation. For some reason, and for the first time, the thought of turning one year older registered a tiny sense of fear! While my 33^rd year was full of challenges and change, it was also a pivotal one and one that I would not change, despite my complaints and criticisms ;) It was also the year that in a spiritual sense is shared with Jesus, and one that was reflected back to me on many occasions by family and friends, while also resting comfortably in my mind as a silent source of motivation and support.

When I thought about the number ‘34’ it seemed so much older and distant than in reality, as if adding 11 years to my current age. It just did not seem to fit in or make sense? This same inhibition was sensed when I thought about close friends who had met or were waiting to meet this same milestone… a sense of astonishment that 34 had or was approaching and where had the time gone?

As the months passed, my anxieties calmed and I began to feel a sense of impending loneliness instead… a desire to celebrate my birthday and cherish the day with the people I care about most… a yearning to actually honour the day without spending it or viewing it as any other day (which I have always done and preferred)… and a sense of sadness knowing that the day would pass following the end of an incredible summer when everything would have just returned to normal and I would be longing for the connectivity, support and familiarities of home.

And so, my 34^th birthday was spent in a mishmash of events, some ordinary and others essential in breaking the normal mold I was not looking forward to returning to. While the day itself was not overly eventful, nor exciting, and was not spent in celebration or without obligation, it was a good one. I am happy to report that I did not feel 10 years older or wiser ;) but rather; as with each year, it was accepted and appreciated as a day to initiate new hopes and dreams, and a time to dream up heartfelt desires and birthday wishes!

The days leading up to and including my birth-day itself were spent coming up with a list of 34 birthday wishes; as recommended and encouraged by my cousin Jason. A perfect blend of actual goals and wishes, soul level desires and ongoing lessons and teachings make up this list, encouraging and motivating a new age of life and living!

A day like no other - yet like any other, was spent with a morning job interview and subsequent job offer, followed by a birthday lunch out with my dad. An afternoon of perfect solitude chez moi, complete with an afternoon sieste rounded out the middle of the day. A sociable evening with the members of the Act4 English group I am involved in finished the day. Throw in celebratory phone calls, emails and text messages and the day commencing my 34^th year was complete…