I'm afraid of...

Over the past couple of months I have come to an impasse of sorts; a place where I feel comfortable with my French side but still uniquely Canadian. A pensive realization that my French half is evolving at a separate rate, pace and identity to my Canadian persona; a blank slate where I am free, able and willing to try on new hats and ways of living. A simple lack of language and strained communication coupled with innately natural apprehension, and a desire for intelligent discourse, paves way for a new cultural identity, one where I can steer the course and define its direction.

Exciting yet peculiar, forbidden yet permissible, this evolving experience and opportunity lends light to the possibilities and vastness of who, what, and why we are who we are. Throughout this progression I am trapped in a revolving state of stagnation and limbo, where the present moment is preferred in its changeability, flexibility and mindful knowing. A place where I am neither French nor Canadian, where I prefer the French landscape yet fear the familiar North American influence.

 

A reverse culture shock of sorts, especially around other North American expats… Despite the few incredibly cultured and inspirational North Americans I have been fortunate to meet and know; others register within me a sense of shock and opposition. My eyes and ears respond in learned recognition, but my mind and intuition are quickly turned off by the shared similarities I hoped wasn’t so personally ingrained. The expressions, tones, topics and confidence are eerily familiar and heavily recognizable, as if I am listening to myself; yet is it me now, or was it me then, or is it an unchangeable aspect of myself…?

 

It is something I had imagined would be a reality, if and when, I resumed residence across the Atlantic, but it is just as impactful a world apart from its origins and evolution. And so I am struck with a sense of saddened association to my North American roots, yet I remain steadfast, confident, opinionated and direct in my youthful innocence and experience.

 

Perhaps David Bowie describes it best in “I’m Afraid of (North) Americans”… Is there any other culture as influential, imposing, inspiring and invading?

I unmistakeably love and identify with my Canadian roots,

however, in this evolving identity and recognition of self I am beginning to

recognize, evaluate and dissect

the cultural anomalies present in our vast multicultural identities.

Who’s that chick?

Oh là là, je suis belle!

A huge thank you to my friend Marta who recommended an impromptu photo-shoot, with only a simple vision and minimal accessories, resulting in phenomenal expressive shots.  With background indie beats, bright lights, and big hair, we set off for an afternoon of focused photography. In between intense eye to lens contact and various poses – hand on chin, arm slung over chair, elbow resting on knee – direct gaze, elongated neck, sideways glances – the afternoon unfolded and great photos were captured.

Usually modest and almost always reserved,

I enjoyed every minute and proudly owned and loved the snapshot results!

Check out Marta's work on her website!

Les Tickets Restaurant

With a social system that can be perceived as invasive, bureaucratic and information intensive, the rewards are often immeasurable. Despite the mounds of documentation, seemingly random questions and countless office visits, it is not surprising that one can feel that their individuality and personal privacy are infringed upon. Take for example, the transfer of an international licence over to a French licence. Obvious enough is the need for a copy of the international licence and verification of driving status by the governing bureau. But is it absolutely necessary to require proof of residency for the first 6 months of licensing?
 

While the process of qualifying for the benefits of the generous social, medical, educational and employment systems may seem daunting and downright irritating, some of the most innovative and appreciated payoffs are the rewards. The employment advantages themselves are numerous and globally recognized. With 5 weeks starting vacation, and a 35 hour full-time work week, French workers are already at an advantage in the areas of physical and mental health (less stress placed on the workday), leisure and lifestyle (the ability, encouragement and expectation to enjoy time away from work), and equality in the workplace (these are standard practices that require specific contract amendments to modify or alter). I should mention however, as with any system there are always loopholes and exceptions. For example, my current employment is contract based, in which I fall under a CDD (contrat à durée determine), which means that I unfortunately, do not enjoy 5 weeks paid vacation or the security of a permanent contract; although I am paid a percentage on each paycheque to cover for vacation and holidays, and I enjoy a flexible self-determined work schedule.

 

Additionally, French workers are also further rewarded through the implementation of Les Tickets Restaurant . While the rules and regulations governing these are specific, generally speaking, if an employer is unable to provide a cafeteria or lunch room on site then they are required to offer restaurant vouchers, which are a tax free incentive for the employer and an added bonus for the worker, who only pays no more than 50% of the value of the voucher from their paycheque. In my case, as long as I work at least 6 hours in one day, I am eligible to request a ticket resto for that day, by keeping a tally of all eligible days. At the end of the month half of the amount of each voucher is deducted from my pay and my employer pays the remaining difference. I then receive a booklet of vouchers worth €7 each (of which €3,50 is deducted from my pay).These vouchers can then be used at restaurants and for ready to eat groceries, with many establishments allowing payment with as many as 2 or 3 vouchers. The vouchers are good for the entire year and can be used for lunch, dinner or at the local grocers. So in essence you can enjoy a nice meal with a glass of wine, or pick up a baguette and viennoiserie at the local Boulangerie knowing that you have only paid for half of the purchase! Plus with an automatic paycheque deduction it is often unnoticed and not missed!

With a multitude of social advantages in France, the simple difficulties like language and unrushed attitudes are easily minimized, and the simple pleasures of daily life are emphasized by the generosity of a world class social system.

… Perhaps my view will change come tax time…? J