Permis de conduire ...

Before I embarked on the road to French living, I eagerly went down to the local CAA with my friend Tefta on our lunch break to obtain an international driving permit... The fact that I have a valid Ontario licence and all of my points (I think), qualifies me to drive in virtually any country around the world for the next year?!

There was no concern about the rules, regulations and language of the countless other countries where I could potentially drive, and worst of all there was no test to see if I knew left from right (which is a tricky feat that I don't always get right). Plus, little did they know, not only am I intimately connected to the gas pedal, and enjoy the thrill of the occasional tail gate (and not the party kind - well at least not in this context), I also have only driven a manual auto a handful of times (staling at each intersection) and I have never driven on the opposite side of the street (for when I visit England of course), and a roundabout..... lord help me!!!

So... this past weekend I was helping my dad load the car for a brocante (aka flea-market). Like a kid in a candy store I suddenly became excited and giddy at the thought of possibly moving the car two feet to allow room to close the garage door. A sense of nervousness along with the thought of, 'maybe I can actually get away with this', came over me... because you know I am 33, have an international permit and have driven with my dad before, but this seemed like a brand new experience and an almost forbidden one, kind of like driving blind-folded or in the dark without any lights!

So with wide eyes, a big grin and a soft spoken voice I stated, not asked, that I could move the car, 'if it would help'. My dad, who had been talking about finding opportunities for me to drive and wondering what I would need to qualify for my very own French permit before I even left Canada, said okay and proceeded to give me instructions in French??? I barely know how to successfully have a conversation about the weather, and now I am hearing the french terms for clutch, gear, reverse..... And then it happened, I moved the car (at less than 10 km/h) 2 feet forward!! And then, once the garage door was closed, I reversed another 4 feet!!! And the angels sang - Hallelujah!

Without my international permit in hand, because I am a bad ass and like to live on the edge, I became re-acquainted with stick-shift driving in an area of Lyon where there are many driving schools and limited traffic. You would think this would be a great place to learn and feel comfortable, but not so much...

Okay so I struggle with left from right. To turn left is, 'a gauche', and to turn right is, 'a droite' ... easy enough? Mais non, to go straight ahead is, 'tout droit'. Come on, really, now to add to my confusion I don't know whether to go straight or turn?

The french also have a system of 'priorite a droite' which means priority to the right. While there are lighted intersections (with the traffic lights off to the side of the street where you need multi-directional bug eyes to see them because they are outside of normal peripheral vision). There are also occasional stop signs, an abundance of one way streets, yield and do not enter signs, roundabouts, chaotic parking (wrong way, on curbs, both sides of the street, backwards, forwards, sideways...); there are no all-way stops and instead for most streets and intersections you are supposed to yield to the cars on the right. This is great in theory, except that some streets to the right have stop-signs and to the experienced driver you can tell which ones do and which ones you have to watch out for. To add to the confusion, the streets are not straight and in a nice grid like pattern (like the farming history layout of Windsor Essex County), but rather curved, often hidden or located on a hill (great for learning stick-shift)!

In my quest to re-learn driving in France, I stalled at least 4 times at intersections where I was supposed to give priorite a droite, pretty much coasted in second gear because it was easier and more comfortable to drive at 40km/h, and was passed by way too many vehicles to count!!! So after 10 minutes, while stalled at an intersection, in a matter of fact, 'but, I don't want to', tone of voice I announced I was done with driving. I put the car in park, or neutral or whatever it is supposed to be in to stop, and walked around to the passenger side where my escalated heart rate and blood pressure slowed to a relaxed state.

With this I have learned that, I like my feet and walking is what I will do!!